Friday, August 26, 2011

Cheeseburger in Paradise





I'll admit it.  I'm a cheeseburger addict.  That's a step up from connoisseur.  Or a step down, depending on your perspective.  In any case, I love cheeseburgers.  This guy's got nothing on me.  If I could only pick one food to have for the rest of my life?  Yep, cheeseburgers.  Steaming, juicy, tender burgers piled with trimmings.  Man, my mouth is watering already. 

I'm going to give you a run-down of my favorite burgers and then I'm going to ask about yours.  I need new blood (okay, that analogy is a little disgusting in this context).  But you catch my drift.  If the Ultimate Cheeseburger is out there and I'm missing out, I want -- no, need -- to know about it.  And consume it.

Disclaimer: I'm a simple creature with simple tastes.  "True" connoisseurs will try to convince you the best burgers are made with "gourmet" ingredients, like this and this.  No.  In the Burger Realm, simplicity rules. 

With that in mind, here we go:  

5. Portillo's Bacon Burger. 1/3 pound with mayo, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle and ketchup. And bacon. Lots of bacon. Char-broiled to perfection.




4. McDonalds Angus DeLuxe.  This selection may surprise or even anger fellow burger addicts, but I'm sticking to it just as it sticks beautifully to my ribs.  This bad boy is 100% Angus beef (the champagne of hamburger meat), topped with cheese, onions, mayo, mustard, crisp lettuce, tomato slice, and crinkle-cut pickles.  Add to it the special spices seared into the beef, and it tastes like music in my mouth.


 3. Culver's ButterBurger. Fresh, never frozen, Midwest-raised beef, seared on a grill to specification. Topped with real American cheese made in Wisconsin and served on a lightly buttered, toasted bun.  Most burger lovers will tell you the bun is as important as the beef, and in this case it makes the sandwich.  Sheer delight.





2. Fuddrucker's Build Your Own Burger.  Am I dead?  Is this heaven?  There's a place where you can build your own burger?  Genius.  The beef is juicy, the buns baked fresh daily, and the toppings...oh, the glorious toppings!  They have everything from cilantro to salsa, cucumbers to catsup.  Fuddrucker's is Burger Bethlehem.  I like mine with Swiss and Cheddar.




1. Gangster Burger, Gangsters Bar, Hazel Green, WI.  This was a surprise discovery during a weekend excursion a few years back.  And, really, what better place to find the best cheeseburger in the world than Dairyland?  This goodfella boasts 3/4 burger, lettuce, tomato, onion, and American & Swiss cheeses.  But the kicker here is the tangy Gangster sauce.  I don't know what's in it and I don't want to know...but it is exquisite.  I'm not going to post a picture of it; I'm keeping this one to myself.  But if you find yourself in that little pocket of the world with a rumbling stomach, do yourself a service and try one.  Wash it down with a ice cold domestic draft and you've reached Americana Nirvana. 

So there you have it.  Now what about you?  Tell me what I'm missing, please.  Please!


7 comments:

  1. spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger spamburger

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  2. Nice, Anonymous! Spamming the comments with Spamburger! I get it! :)

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  3. It came as a total surprise to me, but I really love Wendy's 1/4 pound single with cheese. I think it's the mayonnaise, which I would have NEVER put on a cheeseburger before I ate this one. Whatever it is, when I crave a cheap fast food cheeseburger, it's this one every time.

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  4. oh my, my mouth is WATERING! I found myself falling in love with Ruby Tuesdays mini burgers. They seem to have the perfect ratio of salt to grease and the flavor is great.

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  5. Wendy's DOES have good, cheap, quick burgers! Although when I go there, I'm often tempted by the Baconator which there really isn't any justification in eating considering it has absolutely no nutritious qualities...it just tastes so dang good!

    Ruby Tuesday mini burgers are also quite good! I also enjoy their triple prime burger with a slice of cheddar. Divine.

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  6. reading this and eating at the same time was AWESOME

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  7. I'm going to have to give that a try sometime, Anonymous! I know I got veeeerrrryyyyyy hungry writing it. :)

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